


A New Life

by BoyMother



Category: Original Work
Genre: Empaths, Feminine male, M/M, Male Pregnancy, Mpreg, Other, Sci-Fi, Superpowers, boy mother, femboy, long form fiction, soft boy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-05
Updated: 2020-08-30
Packaged: 2021-03-05 05:21:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 6
Words: 17,203
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25079047
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BoyMother/pseuds/BoyMother
Summary: Ben is a college drop-out longing for purpose to his life. A strange and harrowing encounter will Introduce him to fantastic new friends, reveal supernatural powers, and set him on a journey that will change him forever.
Comments: 6
Kudos: 22





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is a work I wrote a little while ago. It’s a major WIP and the writing isn’t that good. But I hope some people might enjoy it.

Ben was looking at himself in the mirror and not liking what he saw. He dressed up as he knew one should for a date. He had on his nicest shirt and new shoes, well groomed hair and a clean showered body. He was decently handsome, even if it was a very average unremarkable handsomeness.He knew that to others he looked fine. He could walk outside and take a stroll around the block and no one would notice. But in front of the mirror, when it was just him and his reflection, things were different. He had a deep distaste for how he looked. Something about it just was so unsatisfying. The worst part was that he had no idea why he hated how he looked. He didn’t even know what he wanted to look like. What exactly was he trying to embody anyways? Coolness? Toughness? The confident individualistic look he saw so many of his peers master? He didn’t portray any of these very well. He didn’t know what he wanted to see in the mirror, but he didn’t like what he did see.   
He did his best to shake it off. It wasn’t good to dwell on it. Besides, this was by no means a new experience. He’d been standing in front of the mirror trying to figure out how he wanted to look ever since elementary school. He shaved his head once, just to try something totally different. He had hated it. Now that he was twenty four, he was pretty used to the feeling. Hating something so constant as appearance eventually dulls the feeling over time. Besides, It didn’t matter how he felt anyway, he knew that Julie would think he looked just fine.   
Julie was his girlfriend. He’d meet her at university before he dropped out. They’d taken an introduction to philosophy course together. He didn’t really understand many of the readings, but Julie would go explain them to him. She liked to explain things and he liked to listen to her. They were both out of state students without many friends at the university in freshman year, so it wasn’t long before they were eating lunch together and hanging out after class. She’d asked him for a date senior year, at the beginning of the semester he would drop-out during. She was still studying, working on her Master’s degree in chemistry. He still lived and worked near the university so they had kept up their relationship and Ben was pretty grateful for that. Julie was smart and also funny and she merged the qualities together so seamlessly. She could switch from conversing about the most recent epigenetics article she had read to ranting about how terrible the music they played at frat parties was. She seemed comfortable to be anywhere doing anything. Ben’s admiration for her was just short of jealousy. Part of him wished he could be in control of his life like her. He felt inferior to her sometimes. He knew that she hadn’t expected to be dating a drop-out food service worker like him. But she always said she didn’t mind and that she enjoyed spending time with him. She was cool like that.  
He was interrupted from readjusting his hair in the mirror by a knock at the door, followed by the sound of it opening.   
“Julie! You can’t just walk in here,” he said coming out of the bathroom to greet her, “What if I was changing? I’d be all naked and vulnerable.”   
“Do you usually change in the living room?” She laughed and they hugged. She kissed him on the cheek but he didn’t think to kiss back. Instead, Ben hurried into the kitchen and reached into the fridge to pull out two enormous eggplants. Plump and lustrous, they were ideal eggplant specimens. It was the kind of thing only a cooking nerd like Ben could get excited over. But Julie played along.   
“I got these from the farmer’s market, I’m gonna make something goooood with ‘em.”   
“They look pretty...healthy? Very purple. It’s cute how excited you get over vegetables. You know they have more nicotine content than any other vegetable?”   
“Vegetables have nicotine?”   
“Yeah, but it’s not like a cigarette or anything. It’s just- well, I won’t bore you with biology.”  
“I don’t mind, it’s interesting,” Ben said as he sorted through his cooking utensils, “I’m so glad I found that market. I’m gonna cook so much cool stuff.”  
“What are you making? Eggplant parmesan?”   
“It’s a classic! Working at Tony’s has taught me some stuff.” He said brandishing a sauce spoon in the air, “Plus you said you liked Italian.”   
“I do enjoy Italian, though I guess for someone as culinarily uncultured as me, Italian just means pasta.”   
“Oh, well...should I make something else?”  
Julie laughed, “No no, I’m sure it will be delicious if you make it. You’re so eager to please, you know?”   
“Yeah… I guess I am. Is that bad?”  
“Not at all. And after we eat? What do you wanna do? Are your roommates here?”   
“Kathryn and Joyce are out at a party and Lucas is holed up in the library tonight, but I was thinking we could maybe go out?”   
“Oh?” Julie looked a little disappointed but curious.   
“To the park down Jackson street, I thought it’d be fun. In the park at night, having deep conversations and stuff.”   
“Oh, yeah. Sounds nice.” Julie’s curiosity was sated, now she was just disappointed. But she could still have a fun night, even if it didn't go how she had hoped. She took at seat at the fold-up table and watched as Ben cooked. He could be so enthusiastic with some things. He clearly loved cooking. A number of previous dates had consisted of going to new places to buy ingredients. She had liked those, not because she particularly enjoyed waiting in line at the international foods market but because it was times like that when Ben really lit up. Even now there was a positive energy in the way he rambled on about parsley that she wished he would show elsewhere in his life.   
The couple kept up conversation while dinner was being made, but it was somewhat one-sided. Julie seemed distracted. She was pensive. Ben very proudly brought over two plates beaming with pride at his work.   
“Is that all you’re eating, dude?” Julie said eyeballing the meager portion on Ben’s plate.   
“Yeah. I’m not very hungry anyways.”  
“For someone who loves cooking so much, you eat like a bird.”   
“I like cooking for other people really. It feels good to make food for people, ya know?”   
“Fair enough. You should become a chef.”  
Ben had thought about being a chef before. He’d gone through a long list of possible careers as a kid. When he was eight years old he decided he wanted to be a Zoologist because he liked animals and thought it would be fun to go play with tigers in India or see the Amazon. He’d taken a vast array of classes in college and was a pretty good student, but he hadn’t found anything he wanted to dedicate himself to.   
“Maybe.” Ben said, deflecting the question, “So… how’s school?”   
“Busy! Honestly I’m running on fumes and we aren’t even at finals yet. Maybe I should drop out like you.”   
“Yeah, you can come live here! Let’s see how many roommates we can sneak in before the landlord kicks us out,” Ben said through a mouthful of ricotta cheese.   
“No, but seriously. I’m excited to be done. I’m looking at an internship in Connecticut for the end of next year. It’d give me loads of experience and it pays.”   
Connecticut was Julie’s home. When Ben moved off to college he’d seen it as a sort of moving away. Julie always seemed to want to go back to the Northeast though.   
“Wow. You think you’re gonna do it?”  
“If I can yeah. And I’m pretty sure they’ll take me. I’m pretty smart, you know.”  
“Yeah, well...cool! I hope you get it.”   
The conversation continued with both parties now occupied with other thoughts. Ben knew that the relationship probably wouldn’t last. But the thought of Julie moving to another state to pursue her career blurred the line between admiration and jealousy.   
“Wanna walk to the park now?” Ben said when they’d finished eating. He felt like a change in scenery might help the stiff mood that had developed.   
“Oh, right now?”  
“Well, there’s not much to do around here. You wanna stop and get ice-cream first?”   
“Ben, I had kinda hoped we could do something else tonight?”   
“Oh, well go ahead. I’m up for ideas.”   
Julie’s brow furrowed as she tried to figure out how to approach the conversation they needed to have.  
“I’ve been thinking that we shouldn’t date.” She said plainly.   
Ben hadn’t seen it coming and was stunned at first. But it made sense, didn’t it? Why would she want to stay with a wimpy college drop-out like him?   
Julie spoke up again, “And first of all, I don’t want you to think this is cause you’re not good enough or anything. That kinda thinking is just dumb. You’re a nice person and I’d love to be friends with you, after all I’d never be able to give up your cooking.”   
“So… why-”  
“Because I don’t think you and I really have what make a relationship work. When I asked you for that first date, I thought we could maybe have something more intimate than our friendship. I thought you could be my boyfriend.”  
“Am I not?”   
“Well, yeah but… I don’t know, Ben. It feels the same. You don’t seem anymore interested in me than before we started going out. Like, relationships should be about love, right? Or maybe they don’t have to be, but there should at least be sex or something.”   
“You wanna have sex? We can do that! I don’t see what the problem is,” Ben’s voice started to rise in pitch, as it did when he was angry or upset. He noticed this and pulled it back down, “I just don’t get what you’re saying. We can do more intimate things. I just didn’t know that’s what you wanted. Do you want to go back to my bed?”  
“No that’s not what I want. I know you’re trying to please me, but if we haven’t done it this far, I don’t think we should.”   
“Why not?”  
“Because I don’t think you want to have sex, Ben. I don’t. And I don’t think you want a girlfriend either.”   
That comment crossed a line.   
“Why do you get to decide what I want?”   
“Trust me, I don’t think-”  
“You don’t get to decide! I like you, Julie. I like dating you. I like talking to you and hanging out and-”  
Now it was Julie’s turn to raise her voice, “Then listen to what I want, okay?”   
Ben was taken aback by her tone. She sounded really serious.   
“I want a boyfriend, okay?” She said, “I like hanging with you too, but this isn’t what I want a relationship to feel like. For that reason alone, I think we shouldn’t date.”   
Ben’s frustration was beginning to give way to a feeling of defeat.   
“There are other reasons?”  
“I don’t think you’re happy. I think that you’re trying to figure out what to do with your life and I get it. The college track isn’t for everyone. But, I’ve seen how you are… you seem withdrawn and depressed most of the time and...” She trailed off, she wasn’t so sure she should continue.  
“And?” Ben proded.  
“Ugh, I don’t know. I’m not a therapist. I know you’re not into me in a romantic way.”   
“Come on, that’s not fair. Don’t I get to try and show you?”   
“Show me what?”  
“That I can be into you?”  
“No. Look Ben, this thing we’ve been doing for months now? It doesn’t feel like a relationship to me. And I know it’s important to you, but sometimes It’s the only thing that’s important to you. That’s too much pressure for me.”   
There was a pause. Ben didn’t really know what to say. He shied away from conflict in most situations and he knew that Julie was serious about this. She never made rash decisions, it wasn’t in her. He crossed his arms and looked down at the floor. He didn’t wanna be here anymore.   
“Plus, I think this could maybe a wake-up call for you?”   
Ben lifted his eyes towards her inquisitively.   
“Maybe if you’re not focusing on a relationship, you could figure out what you wanna do? You could try some summer classes, maybe? You could go to culinary school!”   
“Yeah, maybe I will.” He said halfheartedly.  
“You sound like you just wanna end the conversation.”   
Julie was perceptive, but sometimes Ben wished she would just let him recoil.  
“Yeah, maybe a little.”   
“Well...that’s fair enough. I think it’s best if I go.”   
“Yeah.”   
She stood there for a moment, wondering if she should leave. But she decided, grabbed her bag, and headed for the door. Ben stayed at the table, trying not to look too pathetic.  
“I’m pretty busy this weekend, but let’s get lunch next week, okay?” She called back from the doorway.  
“Yeah. Sounds good.”   
Then she left.   
A few minutes later Ben decided to go the park anyways.   
The weather was warm but not hot, it was dark and the sky was full of clouds. It made the earth feel like a shut box. Contained, calm, secure. Ben loved this kind of weather normally, but now it just felt depressing. He felt depressed. He’d just been broken up with after all. But he was feeling all the wrong emotions. He was supposed to be lamenting the loss of a girlfriend. He was supposed to want Julie back. He was maybe even supposed to make some grand gesture to win her back. But that didn’t feel like the right thing to do. And to be honest, when he really thought about it, as he did when he walked through sycamore lined park paths, he didn’t really want Julie back. At least, he saw her point, he’d never had much of more than a friendship with her the whole time. She was right. They could still be friends and nothing much would change. Maybe they couldn’t kiss anymore, but they hadn’t even kissed that often before. He honestly was a little relieved. Kissing Julie had always felt like an obligation.   
After circled around the lonely park a few dozen times, he realized that the break-up probably was a good idea. Especially if she had been unsatisfied. But he was still upset.   
“God damnit. Life is...hard.” He sighed. He felt humiliated and lost. What she’d said was true. What was he going to do with his life? Every day he went to work just to pay rent. When he was home he would listlessly surf the internet or do housekeeping chores. The only thing he really looked forward to were his dates with Julie. He liked cooking for her and planning out their dat and surprising her. But that wasn’t substantial. He needed to go somewhere, to do something, to be someone.   
It wasn’t like he hadn’t been trying! He desperately wanted to find some purpose in life. He’d been searching since he started high school. But to figure out what he would do with his life, he needed to know who he was. He didn’t. Of course, he had a personality. He had desires and feelings and all that. But they were messy and confusing and the authentic stuff got all mixed up with the stuff he was supposed to desire and feel. Maybe it was because it was too difficult to sort it all out. Or maybe he was too cowardly for real introspection. But whatever it was that kept him in the dark about who he wanted to be, its ultimate consequence was that he just did what he thought he should do with his life. That’s why, despite hating sports, he kept joining team after team in high school. It’s why he moved miles away from home to go to college. And it was why he agreed to go out with Julie in the first place.   
“So yeah… it was kinda just a casual relationship between friends. How did we not have sex? How did I not think of that?” He ranted to himself by one of the flickering park lights, “But she could’ve waited till she moved or something...and not left me with this command to...sort my life out or whatever.”   
He threw himself on to the nearest bench and swung his head back into the air.   
“I don’t know what I don’t know what I wanna be or do or anything!” He wanted to scream it, but he was too scared someone would hear him, so he just grumbled.   
It was late. He had work in the morning. He really hated the idea of going to work now. Maybe he could call in sick? No, he didn’t need the manager getting all indignant on him.   
He was about to head home when he felt the tickle of a super fine thread on his arm. It was a loose thread of spider silk, drifting off a web made between the rail and the seat of the bench. There was a little grey spider sitting there still as stone. Ben had loved spiders when he was a kid. He’d go any wooded areas or open fields that had yet been turned into apartment complexes near his home and try and catch wolf spiders.   
“Heya, little guy.” He said, leaning down to get a better look. He wished he could be a spider, and just chill in a web and eat bugs and not worry about life. He new that life as a spider was a weird escapism, but it was his for the moment. He sighed again, and his breath disturbed the web. The spider exploded in a thousand little moving pieces. Ben recoiled in surprise, than realized that what he was seeing were hundreds of tiny baby spiders startled away from their nest. They must have been a tight little bundle under their mom. The mama spider scurried away too, as if trying to gather the fleeing babies back together.   
“Well...I guess you have some worries, after all.”   
The moment with the spider gave him a moment of calm. But the anxiety came rushing back soon after. He went to bed that night in a foul mood, worrying about life and identity and purpose. He didn’t get to sleep until very late.


	2. Chapter 2

The next morning it was raining. Ben managed to make it onto the bus without getting completely soaked, but the unpleasant sensation of damp socks was not helping his mood. The trip was short, there were usually plenty of seats free, and he was lucky enough to be able to use the free university bus system. It was a pretty good commute all things considered. But today everything just seemed to irritate him. He was irritated by the all the stops the bus made and the bumps of potholes in the rode. He was irritated by the student’s on either side of him on their phones. Most of all, he was irritated by the fact that once again he was on his boring commute to his boring job for another boring day in his boring directionless life. He couldn’t do anything about it, either. He wasn’t the type to run away and join the circus, or whatever runaways did these days. So he stuck to the banality of an average Thursday at Tony’s.   
Tony’s was a popular pseudo-Italian place near the university. There was, as far as Ben knew, no actual Tony involved with the place. The current owner’s name was Craig. It was a small building at the edge of a strip mall with a painted-on brick pattern and an obnoxiously large sign. Despite its looks, it brought in more business than any other restaurant nearby and could afford to pay Ben decently. It wasn’t a bad job really. It just wasn’t exciting. The same prep work and the same menu and the same dishes to wash at the end of the night day in and day out. At least the shifts didn’t drag on. The restaurant was regularly packed, and today probably wouldn’t be any different.  
“Hey Donna.” He said as he tied his apron.   
“Ben! Welcome back. You on a double today, right?”   
“Yup.” Ben said glumly. He was normally pleased when Donna was managing. She made good conversation and she didn’t scold anybody unless she really needed to. Today he didn’t try striking up conversation as they opened up the place. He made his way to the kitchen and starting setting things up in silence. He was trapped in his head, thinking about what else he could be doing that would be more fulfilling than making cheap cannolis and pizza all day.   
It wasn’t long before most of the tables were full and Tony’s was bustling with customers and employees, and Ben was still thinking the same thoughts about what to do with his life. Maybe he could be a chef, like Julie had suggested. He kinda already was, wasn’t he? But he could be a real one, like a professional. It was a nice idea, but he didn’t just like cooking as an activity in itself. It was a perfectly fine hobby, but that was how he liked it, as a hobby. There was a sort of intimacy in making meals for friends and family that he didn’t find in a commercial kitchen like at Tony’s.   
“Hey Ben, table four didn’t want olives, can you remake the order?”  
“What?” he said, coming back to reality, “oh, yeah sure.”   
Rory was standing at the at the entrance of the kitchen with a plate of olive-tainted flatbread. He was one of the waiters at Tony’s and Ben’s closest friend at the place. He was a tiny guy, as if he’d stopped growing in middle school, but his small frame was packed with energy. He was friendly, loud, and always smiling. He was more like a puppy than a man. They both worked full time and on a normal day, he and Rory would take their breaks together and hold segmented conversations, exchanging a few words every time he passed the kitchen.  
“You look kinda down today. You haven’t even mentioned my hair yet.” Rory’s curly hair was a bright new pink today.   
“You dye it so often I don’t notice.”   
“Okay well, now you know, so you can proceed with telling me how cute I am.”  
“I’m not gonna call you cute,” Ben growled, showing his distaste for Rory’s cheeky attitude.   
“Jeeze, somebody’s pissy today. What happened to you?”  
“Look, I’m just having a bad day.”  
“Oh poor baby,” Rory took on a tone that was something between teasing and genuine sympathy, “you wanna talk about it?”   
Rory could be a little annoying at times, but he was a good friend. He was a surprisingly good guy to talk to about things. He had a sort of infectious lighthearted energy about him. However, Ben wasn’t in the mood to talk. Rory was persistent though.   
“Rory, don’t you have tables to serve?”   
“Oh come oooon, you can tell me!”  
“Rory!” Donna’s voice called out from the front, “Tables!”   
“Okay fine, I’m going. But’s let’s talk after this shift, kay?”   
Rory hurried out of the kitchen before Ben could respond. Ben knew he’d have to tell him eventually. Rory was almost pathologically curious about other people’s lives and wouldn’t rest until he knew all the details. It’d be good to talk things out anyways. He remembered when he was thinking about dropping out. He barely knew Rory as anything more than a coworker at the time, yet he was a coworker who was good at listening. He’d encouraged Ben to do what felt most comfortable to him and not worry about what others thought. Good advice or not, Ben had followed it and they’d become good friends since then. They really didn’t see each other outside of work, but, as Ben had become painfully aware of, he really didn’t do much outside of work.  
The kitchen was small. Every inch of space on the walls was taken up by shelves of food and hanging spoons, giant pots and pans precariously balanced on top of one another. The floorspace was occupied mostly by commercial stoves and the enormous pizza oven, so the walkway in between everything had enough room for one person to stand. There was a small window at one end where orders would be picked up and where the cooks could look out and watch the customers for a minute, if they got bored of their little metal room. There were two other cooks with Ben today. Anthony and Burt were their names. They were both older and had been at Tony’s a lot longer than Ben. They talked to each other a little and not at all with anyone else. Normally, Ben didn’t mind. He liked to zone out during work and let his thoughts wander. But today was different. Today he had hoped that work could have served as a distraction from all the things on his mind, but it wasn’t long before he had settled into the work routine he was so familiar with. Set out the pots and pans, prep some of the ingredients, and once the orders started coming in it would move like clockwork. He’d make a dish, Rory or one of the other waiters would pick it up, and it was on to the next. It was a constant flow, only interrupted by the occasional sweep of the floors. It certainly wasn’t enough to keep him from thinking about what Julie had said.   
He liked his job most days but today his grumpiness made him bitter. Is this what he was gonna be doing for the rest of his life? Working in this cramped kitchen doing the same unexciting work day after day? He could always quit, but he’d have to get another job and it wouldn’t be any better. He could go back to school and do something cool like Julie. But he had hated university, and besides, he’d lost all his grant money when he dropped out. He could always move back home and live with his parents while he figured things out. He knew they missed him and he’d be welcome home anytime. He had a good family. But he wanted to stay independent. Depending on his parents would only make him feel worse, he was sure of it. His bitter thoughts stayed swirling around in his head for the first half of his shift. It wasn’t until the lunch rush that anything happened to shake him out of it.   
Donna popped her head into the kitchen “We got a little one in the building, you wanna get the cookie?”   
“Oh, … yeah! I’ll be out in just a sec.”   
This might help his mood a little. Tony’s had started giving free cookies to kids under the age of 6 that came in. Ben had a soft spot for little kids and his coworkers had noticed. If he was working, he always got to give out the cookies.   
He recognized the kid and her mom immediately. They were regulars here. He didn’t know their names but the mom always ordered penne alfredo and the little girl was always clutching a little stuffed cat toy. Like all healthy American kids, she loved chocolate chip cookies.   
“Ready for your free cookie?” He said with a big smile as he approached their table. He must have looked a little strange to her in his messy apron and hat. She just stared up at him with wide open eyes. He held out the plastic wrapped cookie and she took it without a word.   
“What do you say?” Prompted the mother, offering a polite smile to Ben.   
The shy child stayed silent.  
“Haha, it’s okay. I gotta get back to the kitchen. Come back again sometime!”   
Donna caught him as he returned to the kitchen, “You really like kids, huh?”   
“Uh...is that weird?” He knew it wasn’t exactly typical for young guys like him to have a fondness for children, but he couldn’t help it. Kids were cute! Plus they reminded him of taking care of his younger sisters back home. He was the only boy and the oldest of five. For him, babysitting was practically second nature. He’d even tried to do it for pay in highschool, but parents wanted teenage girls to watch their kids, not teenage boys. He couldn’t blame them. He hadn’t had too high an opinion of his male high school peers either. Still, it felt a bit unfair.   
“Is it weird? Not at all! You want some of my babies? They’ve been getting on my nerves lately. You can take em, ha!”   
Donna burst out laughing at her own joke and Ben slipped back into the kitchen. He knew nobody cared, but he couldn’t help but feel a reflex of embarrassment. It used to be worse. Back in high school he’d been a scrawny quiet kid who liked cooking and babies. Most of his friends were girls and he was useless on any sports team. He was any easy target for bullying so he’d developed a heightened sense for what was too wimpy or weird or girlish as a defense mechanism Fortunately, college had allowed him to relax a little, but his self-policing tendency never totally left him.  
The rest of the shift went by pretty fast. He tried to focus on other things, like Donna and Rory’s loud conversions about who the most handsome customer was. Before he knew it, the lunch shift was over and it was break time. Rory found him as soon as he’d hung his apron up.   
They’d decided to go to the smoothie place across the street, where Rory begged him to buy him something.   
“Why don’t you ever bring your own money?” He asked while taking out his wallet.   
“Because I have the best friend in the whole world?”  
“Fine. But one of these days I’m gonna say no.”   
He ordered a ‘Peach Sunrise’ for himself and a ‘Tropical Tornado’ for Rory. He knew Rory’s order at almost every place you could get food near Tony’s. He brought them back to the table where Rory was sitting ready to therapize his friend.   
“So… What’s up?” Rory asked.   
“Not much.”   
“I mean why are you having a bad day.”   
“Are you still on that?”   
Rory looked disappointed, “I guess we don’t have to talk if you don’t wanna.”   
Ben sighed, “Julie broke up with me last night.”   
“Oh,” Rory adjusted his tone, “That’s sucks. I’m sorry.”  
“Don’t worry too much about it. I think it was probably for the best. We’re still friends and all.”   
“Yeah. You’re weren’t that into her anyways.”   
Ben sighed, “You don’t know that.”   
“Trust me. I do. I have a sense for these things.” He said with a wink.  
“Don’t be obnoxious. I really like Julie.”   
“Oh I don’t doubt that. You guys are good friends. I just think you weren’t that into her in...other ways.”  
“Oh my God, Rory. I’m not gay!” He said a little too loudly.   
“Did I say that?”  
“No, but you meant it.”   
“Okay okay, so… if it’s for the best, why worry about it?”   
“Well...She said some stuff that bothered me. Like that I need to figure out what I’m doing with my life.”   
“What a dick!”   
“No, like, she wasn’t trying to be mean. She’s right. I’m not doing anything. I’m not in school, I’m not going anywhere or doing anything. I liked dating her but now I don’t even have that. It was kinda like a wake-up call you know? I’m down today cause I feel like...like I’ve got no purpose. Does that make sense?”   
Rory responded with his usual carefree attitude, “Oh man you are way too young for this.”   
“Dude, I’m serious.”   
“Okay okay, Julie’s in school, right?”   
“Yeah, she’s gonna graduate soon.”   
Rory took a sip of his smoothie and paused for a moment, then continued with full confidence, “That’s how academic types are. Everything’s gotta be meaningful to them. Like, they spend their whole lives thinking about the big picture. They never have any fun. And then it’s like if you’re not curing cancer than you aren’t doing anything with your life.”  
“Don’t you think you’re being a bit harsh?”   
“Nah. I know what I’m talking about.”  
“Do you even know any academics?”  
“I have a friend.”   
“Uh-huh.”   
“Look, just have fun. Do what you want. Don’t worry about the big picture.”   
“I don’t know what I want!” Ben was starting to think this wasn’t going anywhere.   
“Well, then you have to figure it out. And you’re not gonna do that by just working all the time. What do you do for fun?”   
Ben had to think about that for a moment, “Uh, I cook. And I hang out with Julie.”   
“Jeeze… See that’s your problem.” Rory pointed his empty smoothie cup at Ben like he’d just solved the whole issue, “You don’t get out enough. You just need to change your schedule up.”   
“But I don’t know how to do that! I told you, I don’t know what I want. Maybe I’m just a boring person.”   
“Nonsense. I don’t talk to boring people.”   
“You talk to everyone, Rory.”   
“Maybe cause everyone’s at least a little bit interesting. ”   
“Sounds cheesy.”   
Rory’s eyes suddenly lit up as an idea popped into his head, “I’ve got it! I know how we’re gonna get you out of this rut.”   
“How’s that?”   
“You are gonna come with me to The Closet!”   
Rory beamed, clearly very pleased at the idea. ‘The Closet’ was the name of Rory’s favorite gay club in town. He talked about it all the time and always tried to get Ben to go.   
“For the last time, I’m not gay.”   
“But you totally could be!”   
“Not possible.”  
“Why not? You’ve got a cute face and a cute butt. You could kill it as a twink.”   
“I’m not going.”   
Rory grabbed his friend’s hand, fully prepared to beg, “Okay okay, you’re not gay. But you should still come! I think it’d be good for you to try doing something new. And what could be more new than this! You never go out.”   
“Do they even let straight guys into gay clubs?”   
Rory smiled, “Oh man, you don’t know anything. They aren’t gonna ask you which way you swing at the front door, silly. Besides, there are plenty of straight girls who come.”   
Rory was putting on his pouting face with his big brown puppy dog eyes.   
Ben couldn’t say no, “I’ll think about it.”   
“Yay! Don’t worry it’ll be super fun! We can go tonight!”   
“Can’t. I’m working a double today. Besides, I only said I’ll think about it.”   
“Fine, but I really think you should go.”   
“Maybe. I have to get back to work.”   
“Okay, text me when you wanna go! I’ll see ya soon!”   
Rory left and Ben made his way back to the kitchen. The rest of the day was uneventful and Ben was exhausted when he got home. It was late and all his roommates were asleep or studying. Sometimes he felt bad for not being in school like the rest of them, so he didn’t talk to them much. He had planned to move out after he left school, but the rent was too good to give up. He made his way into his little den that was his bedroom, threw off his clothes, and collapsed onto his floor mattress.   
He had work in the morning and he dreading it. Work was always better when there was a date with Julie on his days off. Now that there wasn’t anything to look forward to, it was just another thing that seemed pointless.   
He rolled onto his side and stared into the bright glow of his phone. He didn’t text much. His entire messaging history with Rory consisted of just a few texts asking questions about work.  
He sent a new message, “Wanna go tomorrow?”   
In just a few minutes Rory responded, “Yes! Let’s get you a boyfriend! Do you have any short shorts?”   
Ben rolled his eyes. Rory’s personality was intense, but his carefree and optimistic nature were nice to be around. Tomorrow would probably be good for him. It would at least be a change of pace. He’d never been to any clubs before, let alone a gay one. He fell asleep thinking very private thoughts that night, wondering if it was at all possible that Rory’s ideas about him were correct.


	3. Chapter 3

Ben didn’t know anything about clubs. He’d never been to one, especially not a gay club. He didn’t know what to expect and was anxious. He paced around the kitchen waiting for Rory to arrive. He said he’d be coming by Ben’s place with a friend.   
“It’s friday night, me and Kathryn are gonna go out to eat with some friends, you wanna come?” One of his roommates, Joyce, had had come out to the kitchen with him. She couldn’t help but worry about him when he stayed home all the time. She always invited him out on weekends but they didn’t know each other that well and Ben always politely refused. Meeting new people could be difficult for him. He never knew how he should act or what he should say and ended up feeling guilty about it. Tonight he didn’t feel as bad since he had an actual excuse for once.   
“I’m actually going out with a friend soon.” He said.  
Joyce perked up, “Oh good! Where are you going?”  
“It’s this place called ‘The Closet.’”  
“Oh. Isn’t that a gay club?”   
“I’m just going for my friend,” he said with unanticipated force, “I’m not actually gay. I’m dating Julie.”   
He suddenly felt deeply uncomfortable. He have to tell Joyce about their break-up later.   
“Right. I didn’t think you were…”   
“Yeah, sorry. Umm…” Ben looked down at phone and pretended to receive a text, “Looks like my ride is here. I’ll see you later.”   
“Have fun!” Joyce said. She offered him an encouraging smile as he rushed out the door.  
Fortunately, he didn’t have to wait long outside before a dented up mini-van pulled up in front of his apartment building. Rory waved to him from the passenger seat.   
“Hey! Are you ready for the first exciting friday night of your life?” He asked as Ben got into the car. It was surprising to see his coworker in something other than a drab uniform. He was in tight colorful clothing, with shorts less modest than some of Ben’s own boxers.   
There was another unfamiliar face in the driver’s seat. A man with a frame as large and bulky as Rory was petite.   
“Heya, I’m Carlos,” he introduced himself.   
“I’m Ben, nice to meet you.”   
“Carlos isn’t going with us, he’s just driving.”   
“Oh, then uh.. thank you.”   
“No problem.” Carlos’s voice was deep and warm, “you’re one of Rory’s friends from work, right?”   
“Yeah. He keeps me entertained on the slow days. How do y’all know each other?”   
There was a extended pause. Rory and Carlos exchanged glances and Ben wondered if he’d asked an awkward question.   
“We’re just family friends,” Rory finally responded, “we’ve known each other for a long time now.”   
The rest of the ride over consisted mostly of Carlos and Ben listening to Rory chatter on. He was clearly charged with energy, talking about how excited he was to dance and how Ben was going to find ‘his prince charming’ tonight. Ben decided not to object for now. He was too busy wondering what The Closet would be like to insist on his heterosexuality. What kinda people would be there? Would they all be dressed like Rory? Would he stand out in his plain t-shirt and jeans? Would they dislike having a straight guy in their club? The worries floated in his head as Rory danced in his seat to the radio and Carlos silently drove and nodded to things Rory said. Ben wondered if Carlos was also gay. He didn’t look gay.   
Eventually they turned into a small lot behind a large grey box of a building. There was no sign or any other indication that this place was a club. It looked more like a warehouse to Ben. He thought for a moment that they had driven to the wrong location but Rory jumped out the car as soon as they parked and shouted “let’s go!”   
Ben was getting out to follow when he was caught by Carlos’s voice.   
“Hey,” he said, “Have a good time tonight. Just try and relax if you can.”  
“Um, thanks.” Ben responded. Was his anxiety really that noticeable?  
Carlos continued, “nobody’s gonna know you’re straight. And even if they did, they wouldn’t care.”   
Ben was stunned. He must have been completely transparent.   
“I’m sure you already knew all that though,” Carlos said with a smile, “I’ll be waiting in the car. I can take you home any time you want.”   
“You’re just gonna wait out here in the car?”   
“Yeah, Rory needs a ride home and I assume you do too.”   
“You don’t wanna come in with us?”   
“Clubs aren’t really my thing. Music’s too loud for me. I’ll just be here.”   
Ben worried that he’d be bored just waiting out here.   
“Don’t worry about me, I brought books to read.” Carlos said as if he’d read Ben’s mind.   
“Thanks a lot, Carlos.” Ben tried to sound as grateful as possible before he ran off to catch up  
with Rory.   
He found Rory on the other side of the building standing in line to get in. There were a lot of people waiting.   
“Did you know Carlos is just gonna wait for us? Like a chauffeur?”  
“Yeah, He does that every time he brings me. He likes to read.” Rory said nonchalantly.   
“Jeeze, you’ve got a really good friend. Let’s not make him wait too long.”   
“Oh come on, he doesn’t mind! Besides, you might decide you wanna stay.”   
“Yeah, well, don’t get your hopes up.” Ben might’ve pressed the issue, but they were getting up in line. Ben could hear loud music pulsing against the walls of the building like his heart against his chest. He didn’t know why he was so nervous. He really didn’t get out enough. He stuck close to Rory as they got in and moved down a dark hallway that lead into the club.   
As they entered Ben’s senses were all at once overwhelmed. Pink, blue, and green lights doused everything with color. The air was thick and hot and slightly hazy. There was the scent of cigarettes that would briefly drift by only to be replaced with other unfamiliar scents. The music drowned out all sound that wasn’t in one’s immediate vicinity. He could feel it vibrating in his ribs. There was movement everywhere. It was friday night and the place was packed. Most of the crowd was on the dance floor or hovering on it’s edges, but there was a flow of people everywhere so the the whole room seemed fluid.   
He didn’t know what he had expected the people here to look like, but now that he was inside he saw that it was hard to generalize. There were lots of people dressed like Rory and others who were even more flashy. Some were dressed just like he was. There were men and some women, mostly young but some were definitely older. There were all sorts of shapes and colors of people. It reminded him of the nature documentaries about vibrant coral reefs he’d watched when he was a kid. Occasionally a man without a shirt on would pass him and catch his eye. He tried not to stare, afraid that he might offend someone, but he quickly realized that Carlos was right. Nobody cared that he was here. He felt silly for worrying earlier.   
Rory wanted to go dance but Ben was by no means ready to join him. He found a spot in the corner and stayed there and watched. He was almost jealous of Rory’s ease. He had already jumped into the crowd and started dancing by himself. He looked ecstatic just to be here.  
Eventually he lost track of Rory in the crowd. He was unsure of what to do with himself in this place so he just stayed in his corner checking his phone and trying not to look out of place. It took a little while, but he did eventually grow accustomed to the lights, music, and crowd. He started to get bored just watching. At that point he was able to will himself to go explore the club. The club itself wasn’t that exciting. The Closet only consisted of a large dance floor, a small bar, and a few couches in the back. There were plenty of people to watch though. Diversity of expression was everywhere. Not only did everyone look so different and unique to Ben, but the very movement of people seemed like an outpouring of individuality. Not in isolation either, but in constant interaction. Naked individualities bouncing and sliding off each other, touching and dancing and kissing. There was a kind of freedom in it, a freedom that Ben suddenly felt very cut off from. Sparks of jealousy ignited inside of him. Without even consciously recognizing it, he desired to express himself too. But he found himself in front of the mirror again, wanting to express a self he didn’t know and couldn’t find. He felt boxed in by mirrors, separated from the activity all around him.   
For a moment, he felt a strong urge to overcome his shyness and join Rory on the dance floor. But when he looked back into the dancing crowd he was shocked by what he saw. His eyes fell upon a man, plain and brown haired like himself, embracing another man. They kissed. It was the kinda of thing he should have expected, but seeing it caused his mood to make a violent turn. Desire spoiled in his stomach and became disgust. A sudden wave of memories overtook him. He remembered Valentine’s day cards in grade school and bad dreams in middle school. He remembered his first time searching for porn on the family computer and uncomfortable talks with his parents. He remembered his troubled parents and he remembered guilt and shame. He remembered his childhood friend on the soccer team and he remembered forgetting.   
The lights and noise he had become acclimated to were to bright and loud again. He turned to retreat back to the corner or the bathroom, but he turned to hastily and walked right into another body.   
He looked up to see a tall well-figured man. Ben stumbled backwards from the impact but the man hardly reacted, only turning to raise a brow at Ben. He was very interesting looking. His head was shaved and he wore gold bands around his neck and wrists. His skin had the same luster as the jewelry.   
“Watch where you’re going, hon.” He smiled but his tone was cold. His voice was low enough to cut through the surrounding din.   
“S-sorry… I wasn’t- I didn’t mean to.” Ben fumbled his words and the man seemed to take an interest in that.   
“Calm down. I’m not going to bite.”   
“Sorry.” Ben apologized again. He couldn’t help but be intimidated.   
“Are you here by yourself, hon?”   
“Ah,” Ben panicked, “I’m actually just here for a friend. I’m straight.”   
The man stared at him blankly for a moment, then burst out in laughter. Ben’s cheeks turned red hot. He’d made a fool of himself and decided it was time to flee.   
He turned around and hurried off in the other direction and found himself by the couches. It was a little calmer here, with people just lounging and talking. Ben collapsed onto one of the worn sofas and tried to shrink out of sight. He was starting to regret coming. He wasn’t gay and he didn’t belong here. He was only going to embarrass himself. He thought about leaving. Carlos wouldn’t mind driving him, but if he left now he’d have to explain why to Rory later. Which meant he have to admit he was too shy and too conflicted for a place like this.   
Why had he come anyways? This was a place for people like Rory, not for him. He told himself this, but deep down he was disappointed. He really had wanted to have fun tonight. He really had hoped that Rory was right and something as simple as going out to night life would fix his boring life. But they way it had turned out was more like The Closet had just reminded him why he had a boring life. A simple passionless life let him be normal. It didn’t make him think about uncomfortable desires. He told himself he was upset because he was a straight person in a gay space, but on some level he knew that he was just facing a difficult choice. He could stay and try not to confront the memories and feelings bubbling up inside him or he could leave and return to not knowing what he wanted or who he was and feeling dissatisfied all the time.   
He might have been forced to make a decision if he’d been left alone to sit in his own limbo, but he was about to have another encounter.   
“You look lonely, prettyboy.” He didn’t realize the voice was addressing him until the speaker sat down beside him. It was a woman, a tall woman in a small black dress. She was carrying two drinks, one of which she held out to Ben.   
“Need a drink?”   
“No thank you. I’m good.” He couldn’t imagine was this woman could possibly want with him, but he hoped she would leave quickly. He was running low on energy to make polite conversation.   
“Try it,” she said, holding the drink out to him again, “You look like you could use some loosening up.”   
He took the drink out of politeness. She stared at him expectantly and he took a small sip to appease her. It was strong. It took all his effort to avoid gagging at it burned his throat. The woman smirked. Ben noticed she was wearing the same gold bands as the man he’d run into a moment ago. Were they both members of the same group or something? He imagined an exclusive VIP club full of very attractive people wearing gold jewelry. Like the man, she was very attractive. The kind of attractive you didn’t have to actually appreciate, you just recognized. Ben felt no personal attraction for her looks, but he could recognize the same long legs and tiny waist and flawless facial features of magazine cover models. He knew that by a lot of mens’ standards she was hot. It made what she said next even more confusing.   
“You want to get laid?” She asked without a hint of humor in her voice. It took Ben a moment to even process what she said.  
“Are you...asking me...If I want-”  
“I’m serious.” She was leaning in towards him now. Everything from her voice to her posture was eager.   
“I see…” Ben was at a loss for words.  
“We can go to my place. Stay the night. I’ll drive you wherever you need to go in the morning.” Ben’s silence clearly meant nothing to this woman.  
“I don’t know you.” Ben managed to spit out.   
She laughed, “Am I being too forward? Or...did I get you wrong? Not into women? Ah, that’s my mistake. I should have figured in a place like this.”   
“No! I mean...I’m not gay. I’m just here with a friend.”   
“Oh good. I thought you looked straight. Let’s have some fun tonight then.”   
Ben was honestly relieved that he apparently came off as visibly straight, but was still concerned with this woman’s advances.  
“Look I don’t know why you’re asking me, but I haven’t actually…” He tried to find the best way to phrase it, “I’m a virgin so…”   
“Are you?”  
“Yeah.” He expected her to lose interest. She did not.   
“How cute. So, shall we go now?”   
Ben was baffled, “Wait, I don’t understand. You want to have sex with me?”   
“Yes.” She said plainly.   
“Tonight?”  
“Yes.”   
“Why?”   
“Because you’re cute and I want to. That’s how this works you know.”   
Ben questioned if it really was as simple as that.   
“Why did you come to a gay club then?”   
“I could ask you the same question.”  
“I said I’m here with a friend.”  
“Are you just being polite? Would you prefer a man?” Everything she said was so calculated. In just a few words, she’d brought Ben back to worrying about looking gay, “Look, I’m into you. You’re into me right?”   
He wasn’t. But with his anxieties about sexuality stirred up, he wanted to be into her.   
“Yeah. Of course I am.”   
“Then come spend the night with me? Just casual fun. No strings attached. I’ll give you a great first time.”   
Ben’s initial impulse was to turn down this strangely determined woman and walk away. But he was desperate to prove his sexuality and she was presenting an opportunity. He had wanted to do something new tonight. This was definitely that. It was as if she were offering him a third option to his dilemma. On an insecurity fueled whim, he took it.   
“Okay. Sure. Let’s do it.”   
The woman beamed, “Great! Let’s go then.”  
“Sure, just lemme go tell my friend.”   
He got up to go find Rory feeling a bit proud to show off that he was going to go with a hot woman tonight. He was going to enjoy proving Rory wrong about him.  
He thought it was a little strange how closely the woman followed behind him. But then, this whole situation was strange. It was like he was the protagonist in a bad romance novel. He tried not to focus on the weirdness of it. He instead focused on how tonight he would finally get the courage to do what he’d never been able to do with Julie. He’d prove he was a normal guy. After tonight, he’d never question himself ever again. If he focused on that, going with this woman made sense.   
He found Rory standing by the bar in lively conversation with another guy.   
“Ben! Where have you been hiding this whole time? Come dance! I’ll introduce you to some people!” Rory said. Ben could tell he’d been drinking some. “Who’s this?” he asked, pointing to the Woman.   
“Oh this is…” he realized he hadn’t even gotten her name, “We just met. I actually think I’m gonna leave with her now. So… I’ll see you at work?”   
Rory was shocked, “Wait. You’re leaving with her? Now? For real?”   
His disbelief annoyed Ben, “Yeah. Is that a problem? Or were you hoping I’d find a dude?” His words were sharp.   
“I didn’t mean that, Ben.”   
“Let’s go now.” The woman interrupted, placing a hand on Ben’s shoulder.   
“I’ll see you. Thanks for taking me out.”   
He followed the woman out, leaving a very confused Rory behind. Part of him felt bad about leaving him but he tried to only think about how he was going to prove him wrong.   
It wasn’t until he was in the woman’s car, away from the light and the noise, all alone with her, that his head cleared up.


	4. Chapter 4

His stomach felt uncomfortably tight watching Carlos reading in his car as they pulled out of the parking lot. His knees quivered. He wished the woman would talk, but she stayed silent, only staring unblinkingly at the road ahead.   
“I’m Ben, by the way,” he said after he’d gathered up enough nerve to break the silence. He expected her to follow what he thought was a basic social norm of exchanging names. She only flashed him a brief smile and turned back to the road. Was she really not even going to offer her name?  
“And you are?” He asked, annoyed that he had to.   
“What would you like to call me?” she said.   
That wasn’t what he had asked. This woman was very strange. He recalled cautionary lectures from his childhood about not talking to strange men. Here he was not only talking, but getting into cars and agreeing to sex. It occurred to him that maybe this woman was a dangerous person. He quickly, and somewhat forcibly, dismissed the idea on the grounds that those dangerous men he’d been warned about were men. He didn’t know what kind of danger a woman could possibly pose. He used this to reassure himself, but it didn’t help his nerves.   
“I mean, what’s your name?”   
It took the woman a moment to respond, “Pepper.”   
It was more than obvious she didn’t want to talk. Ben wasn’t even sure if she’d given him her real name, but he wasn’t going to press. He shut up and let Pepper drive. Maybe not talking was a good idea. He needed all his mental energy to convince himself he wanted to do this.  
The flickering lights of the occasional gas station were the only signs of life now. She must have lived outside of the city. Ben’s discomfort grew as they as they gradually left familiarity behind and took an exit onto a lonely road lines by trees and little else. The woman still wasn’t talking. She’d hadn’t said a word the whole ride and the silence wouldn’t let Ben’s imagination rest. For the first time that night, he started to actually go through what he’d agreed to in his head. He imagined being naked in front of this woman, and having to do strange things with her. The idea brought on a sudden pang of panic. It was like being dropped in front of a massive crowd in only his underwear, except worse because in this case it was like the crowd wanted something from him, something he couldn’t give. Possibly because he didn’t have it to begin with. It all made the vulnerability and humiliation that much worse. It was stupid to agree to this. He was stupid for not thinking about what sex meant he’d have to do until now. It was just like so many other instances in his life when he’d decided to do something because he felt like he had to, like he should, because he was afraid of what it would mean if he didn’t. He gotten through in the past by making himself do and be things he didn’t want to do and to be. But this was past his limit. No matter how much he wanted to be normal, he couldn’t make himself have sex with this woman. When he thought about being so utterly uncomfortable giving his first time to her, the tightness in his stomach became unbearable.  
Was it too late to back out? He could call Rory, ask him and Carlos to come pick him up. He’d apologize, go home, and sleep. He feel ashamed when he woke up but he didn’t care about that right now. Now that he was realizing he couldn’t make himself want this, he was focused entirely on getting out of the car and away from this strange woman.   
He got his phone out and saw seven unread message from Rory. He’d been so distracted he hadn’t noticed.   
“Are you really leaving?”  
“I don’t think it’s a good idea.”  
“This isn’t about your sexuality. Really. I’m just worried about your safety.”   
“You have no idea who that woman is. She’s not into you.”   
“Just let me know where you are and if you’re okay?”  
“Hello?”  
“???”  
Guilt mixed with discomfort as he realized he’d completely ditched Rory for a stranger and clearly worried him.   
“I’m gonna try to get out of this. I’m somewhere along 43rd. Can you and Carlos come pick me up?” He texted.   
Rory responded by calling almost immediately. His phone’s buzzing caught Pepper’s attention.   
“Don’t answer that,” she said, “You’re with me now. I need your full attention if we’re going to do this.”   
He desperately wanted to answer the phone but the authority in her voice frightened him. He’d have to call back later. His first priority was getting out of the car.   
“Actually, I…” he began and then stopped. He had to gather up the courage to tell her he didn’t want this.   
She beat him to it however, “Don’t tell me you’re having second thoughts?” Her question was sharp, it cut into Ben’s throat, making it difficult to speak.   
“I’m sorry… Really, I just, I’m sorry. I don’t think I can do this. You don’t have to take me home. If you can just drop me off here I’ll have someone pick me up.”  
She didn’t respond. She only glared at the road.   
“You can just drop me off here.” He repeated. He was starting to worry that should wouldn’t stop. Perhaps she really was dangerous and she was going to chop him up and sell his organs or something. He could breathe a little easier when she did pull over to the side of the road.   
“I’m sorry about the whole thing.” he said.   
“Oh for the love of God, don’t apologize again.” Her words conveyed her frustration quite clearly.  
It was total humiliation. He blinked several times to try and clear away the tears building at the corners of his eyes.   
“I’m just gonna go.” He said reaching for the door, desperate to get out of this situation and retreat to solitude where this woman couldn’t judge him. He was stopped by a firm grip on his wrist.   
“You think I’m going to let you leave after all this?”   
His heart sank as he realized that there might be more in danger here than his self image as a heterosexual man.   
“Let me go.” He put as much force into his voice as he was able but what came out was a whimper.   
She dug her nails further into his arm and yanked him away from the door. He tried to pull his arm free but her grip was unyielding. She was stronger than him, that much was clear.   
“I don’t want to do this.” He said, relying on the faint hope she might understand if he expressed himself clearly. But she maintained her vice grip on his arm and looked at him like he was an object. His words wouldn’t have had an effect even if she was listening. She had done just enough to keep up a facade of interest in him until this point, but now it had fallen away. The way her eyes methodically swept over his body, the same way he might look over a piece of meat when deciding how to cook it, conveyed that she was not interested in him. She wanted only his body and he was foolish to have believed otherwise.   
Why she wanted anything to do with his unimpressive body he didn’t know. None of this made sense. Why had she approached him in the club? Why had he been stupid enough to leave with her? Why would she let him leave and what was she going to do now? Tears began to slip from his eyes as he realized he wasn’t going to escape her.  
“I prefer to do this at home, but this had to get nervous.” She was not speaking to him, but to herself. His will was not a thing to be understood, only overpowered, “This body is old. I can’t afford to wait anymore.” As she spoke her voice changed. There was more vibrato to it with each word. It grew louder and louder until it was an inescapable buzz in his ears.   
Up until now he had avoided looking this woman in the eye. He had shifted his sight elsewhere, to the empty road or to his buzzing phone on the car floor as Rory tried to reach him, all to avoid looking at her. He wanted to be far away from her right now and if he couldn’t leave, he could at least avert his eyes and wait for it to be over. But he couldn’t look away from what happened next.   
The woman overpowering him was changing. Not just her voice now, but her whole body seemed to be melting, warping, and solidifying. Those eyes that greedily surveyed his body were bigger now, abnormally large and bulging. Her fingers elongating as she placed another hand onto his shoulder pushing him down until his back pressed against the seat. Her body loomed over him, in total control, growing in size. Her bones swelled outward at joints of her gaunt frame. Her skin became bleached white and her hair inky black. Even the structure and arrangement of her facial features was falling away now, moving like the rest of her towards an grotesque inhumanness. The only constants of her form were the unchanged gold bands around her neck and wrists.   
Ben couldn’t understand what he was seeing. He didn’t need to. Sheer terror had kicked whatever had been freezing him up before. His body was operating on its own now and it had decided to flee. He kicked his leg out, hitting her abdomen with all the force he could manage. She barely shifted, but it stunned her enough that she loosened her grip. Ben hadn’t even made the decision to kick, it was automatic, a desperate move in the face of a predator followed by another as he broke from her grip and scrambled for the door. He launched himself out of the car, tumbling into the roadside weeds. In moment he was on his feet, ready to run. But that was as far as he’d get. She had gotten out of the car and regained her grip on him, this time around his neck, before he had gotten even a foot away. With uncontestable strength she brought him back into under her control. Her nails made shallow cuts into the soft flesh of his neck, effectively conveying what might happen if he tried to escape her again.   
“I’m going to have to make this quick thanks to your whining.” She hissed with her alien voice into his ear. She was tearing of his shirt now, literally tearing the cloth off his body. He couldn’t see very well with his head held in place like it was, but out of the corner of his eye he caught the the glint of something growing from the palm of her free hand. It was a several inch long needle shaped structure that slowly pushed its way out of her hand. It seemed to be a part of her body rather than an artificial weapon. His trembling hands moved to block the needle, but she easily pushed them aside. In one swift movement she had thrust it into him just above his naval. He felt a brief but intense flash of pain followed by an awful ache that through his innards. More tears rolled down his cheeks.   
She kept it her hand pressed against him with its needle plunged inside for several long moments after. He was too scared and in too much pain to resist. He had given up. He had sunken back into his own head again, waiting for this to end. Only when the lights came did he come back to reality.   
A car was coming down the empty little back road now, its brights hittin the woman and him like a spotlight. He surged back to life when he saw that it was a dented up minivan. Rory and Carlos had found him! He was saved!  
The woman hissed something under her breath and released him. Now free from her grasp he wanted to rush to his friend but his muscles wouldn’t budge. As he attempted to move any part of himself he realized something was wrong. He could barely twitch his fingers. Without the support of the woman pressing him against the car his legs began to collapse. He hit the ground, avoiding falling onto the asphalt by mere inches. He lay there paralyzed, only able to watch as the monstrous woman approached his rescuers.   
“Ben!” Rory cried as he lept out of the vehicle, “Ben! Are you alright?”   
Ben wanted to respond but he couldn’t make his lips work. The woman stood defensively in front of his body, staring down the two men. Rory and Carlos stared back at her and two Ben’s crumpled body, trying to figure out what to do. Ben was relieved to see that they were cautious with this woman. They must have recognized the danger of the situation. The glanced once again at Ben, then the woman, then each other. They’d gone silent. It was the woman who spoke first.   
“If you’re smart you’ll leave this one for me. I don’t particularly want to dispose of a couple of meddlers right now, but I won’t hesitate if you try to take my prey.” To punctuate her point, another long sharp like appendage extended from her palm This one was much longer, like a barbed javelin, clearly meant to be used as a weapon.   
She waited expectantly for the pair to take off in the opposite direction. They did not.   
“Carlos can you get anything?” Rory said, no taking his eyes of the woman for a moment.   
“Nothing.” Carlos said, “Do you think that it’s…” He trailed off, but Rory seemed to understand what he was saying. Their fear was apparent, especially Rory’s who had never been good at hiding his emotions, but there was also a determination in the way they unwaveringly held their position. Ben felt a little better seeing that. Carlos even took a step towards the woman.   
Unfortunately, she had lost patience. She lunged at Carlos swinging her barbed hand spear down on him. He caught it with his hand but she was quick to follow it up by seizing his neck exactly as she’d done to Ben earlier. Rory turned on his heels and dashed to the driver’s seat of the Van. The car’s tires screeched as Rory floored the gas and sped off away from the scene. Ben was shocked. Was he running away?   
A cry of pain from Carlos brought his attention back to the deadlock on the street. Ben’s hope began to fade watching the two of them struggle. Carlos was much stronger than him and had more fighting spirit. He attempted pry her grip off him but she was strong. In her current form she looked to be almost a foot taller than him. He appeared to be holding her at bay, but she was winning. He looked exhausted. She looked like she was only playing. Slowly but surely she was pushing him back. He managed to pull her hand away from his throat. She had tried puncturing it with that needle-like extension.   
“You and that pathetic whimpering vessel have absolutely ruined my night!” She yelled, “I’ll never understand why your species is so kind. Just give up!”   
Ben could still feel tears on his face. He didn’t want to watch anyone get hurt. He wanted to rush to his aid, protect him if he could. But the most movement he could make was to clench his toes.  
He wouldn’t have to protect Carlos however. Rory hadn’t run away. He’d turned the car around was now hurtling back towards them. It happened so quickly. Carlos gave one last push with all his strength, only managing to force her to backstep a few feet. It was all they needed. The van slammed into her body and sent it flying through the air and into the roadside ditch. She landed with a heavy thud not too far from where Ben lay. Ben couldn’t turn his head to see if she her, but he assumed she was down for the count. He’d be surprised if she lived after a collision like that.   
The van has screeched to a half after hitting her and Carlos was quick to act. He scooped Ben’s stiff body up into his arms and hobbled over the van.  
“Let’s go! Let’s go! Come on!” Rory said frantically as Carlos laid Ben’s body out on the back seat.   
Before Carlos had even shut the door, they were speeding off down the road. Ben could tell they were scared. And beneath the total shock of what he’d just been through, he was too. They were all scared. Nobody spoke for a long time. They didn’t need to. They only wanted to get as far away from whatever had happened, and whoever that was, as possible. Ben couldn’t move. He might have panicked about it, thinking that he’d never move again, but he didn’t have time. It wasn’t long into the ride, after most the adrenaline had subsided, that he was out like a light. His body and mind needed rest. Carlos and Rory were glad to see him sleep. It bought them time to figure out how to explain things.   
Shortly after the van carried off the precious vessel, the woman’s body began to rise. It was twisted even more out of shape from the impact of the van, but it certainly was not dead. It slowly made its way back to its car, climbed in, and drove off into the night.


	5. Chapter 5

Ben woke up the next morning in an unfamiliar bed. It was soft and warm and immaculate, like the kind of bed reserved only for guests. Immediately upon waking he could feel a slight pain throughout his body. It took him a moment to remember the night before. He hadn’t been able to move a muscle then. Immense relief filled him as he realized he could move fine now, with only a little soreness. His head was stirring with ache and thoughts. Where was he? Where were Rory and Carlos? Was everyone alright? And most of all, what had happened last night? He stayed in a motionless state, just a few seconds of shut lids away from sleeping again, for what felt like hours. The bed was so comfortable and this room seemed safe. There was so much to sort out, and he took his time lying there to attempt and sort it.   
He’d gone to a club with Rory last night. He’d left with a stranger. A hot flash of embarrassment and self-loathing washed over him when he remembered leaving with her. What an idiotic idea that had been. He remembered little from the car ride. There wasn’t much to remember besides his all consuming discomfort. Then he remembered the horror of her transformation. The violence and his desperate attempt to escape. Rory and Carlos’s rescue. And a brief period of total panic while paralyzed in the backseat, trying with all his strength to open his mouth and scream that they should speed up and get away from that horrible dead thing behind them.   
Now that he had remembered it all the bed was no longer comfortable. He needed to find Rory and Carlos. A headache throbbed to life as he sat up. He grunted in response.  
“Oh, you’re awake. Are you feeling… okay?” Rory was sitting there at the foot of thr bed. He’d been silently waiting for Ben to wake up for hours now.  
“Rory! I didn’t even notice you were there. I’m… I think I’m fine. Are you?”   
Rory did not look fine. Ben had seen Rory constantly smile his way through eleven hours shifts and clock out with cheeriness to spare. But he wasn’t smiling now. He looked exhausted and the worry in his face was plain as day.  
“I’m fine too. I’m glad you can move. Nothing hurts, right?”   
“Yeah… or maybe? I don’t know.” They spoke slowly, dancing around the obvious questions. As if pretending Ben had simply drunk too much last night would make it come true.  
“Have you slept?” Ben asked.  
“Don’t worry about it. I’m gonna nap later.”   
Nothing was said for a long moment.   
“Last night, that all happened, right?”   
“Yeah.” Rory said.  
Ben didn’t know what to say next. There was so much he wanted to know, but talking about what had happened was difficult. As if talking about it would confirm it had actually occurred.   
“Oh good. He’s awake.” A third voice said, cutting the tension. A plump curly-haired woman came into the room. She was followed by Carlos, who looked as worried as Rory. Ben could immediately see a family resemblance between the two. Their dark hair and broad build were quite similar.  
“I’m Carlos’s mom. It’s nice to meet you, Ben. You can call me Maria.” There was something practiced to the way she spoke. Like this was a routine she’d done before. If she was at all worried like the other two in the room, it didn’t show on her face. “How do you feel?”   
“A little dizzy. Kinda stiff. But I’m okay I think.”   
“Well, I’ll be the judge of that. I’m going to just check a few things to make sure. Now can you follow my finger with your eyes for me?”   
Ben did as he was told and she went through a number of questions and tasks for him to follow like he was in a doctor’s office. Then she asked him to take his shirt off. He hesitated. He hated to bare that part of his body to anyone, and after last night he was feeling especially vulnerable.   
Somehow, Maria seemed to pick up on his feelings without needing to hear a word.   
“Could you just lift up the front for me? Please?”   
She asked so gently and he obeyed, lifting his shirt to expose his flat stomach. What he saw there made him suck air through clenched teeth. Even Maria, whose expression had been so controlled before, suddenly looked concerned.  
It was small. Not any larger than a spider bite. A small bright red spot just above his naval. In the center was a single tiny puncture wound. It brought him back to last night, when he had been so helpless to stop her from sticking that thing inside him. His breathing grew unsteady.   
“It’s okay. It’s okay. It’ll heal in a few days. It’ alright. Are you going to be okay?” She said after seeing his reaction.  
He pulled himself together and nodded, though he still felt sickened looking at his stomach. He was glad to let his shirt conceal it again. She seemed satisfied with her inspection and if she was concerned at all about what she’d seen it didn’t show in her face or voice.   
“You’re going to be fine. But take it easy. Drink some water and tell me if you have any nausea or pain later on, okay?” She smiled and gently patted him on the back. He felt a little bit like a child when she did that, but it was a welcome gesture at the moment. Something about her confidence and directness was reassuring, “Carlos, I want you to keep an eye on him.”   
Carlos nodded. His mother let out a sigh. Her body relaxed and when she spoke again it was like she was out of her routine, just as calm and gathered as before but withholding none of the personal.   
“Goodness. You boys have bad luck. This is a real mess.” She turned to Ben and shook her head, “You must be thinking ‘what’s going on?!,’ right? I wish I could explain, but I’m not the person for that.”   
“Is this your house?” he asked, wanting at least to know where he was.   
“Oh no,” she laughed, “I certainly wish it was. Carlos, don’t tell me you haven’t told the poor guy where you’ve taken him?”   
“We never got the chance.” Carlos said, “and… It’s kinda a hard thing to explain.”   
Her eyes jumped from Carlos to Ben and then to Rory. They all silently pondered some serious issue Ben wasn’t in on.   
“If what you think happened, did happen-”   
“It did.” Rory interrupted, “We saw it.” Rory put a strange emphasis on the word ‘it,’ like he was referring to something of great significance.  
“Alright, I believe you. But I hope you know how serious this is? Someone had better tell him.”  
They all nodded, agreeing that Ben deserved to know, yet no one opened their mouth to actually tell him whatever it was.   
Ben was getting restless, “Can someone just tell me where I am? What that was last night? Can I go home?”   
“No. You can’t go home.” Rory suddenly said with great urgency. It startled Ben.   
Carla sighed, “I suppose we can sort this out at the meeting with the others. I just came to make sure you weren’t hurt. Boys, you’re his friends, try and fill him in a little before the others arrive, alright?”   
Ben wondered who ‘the others were,’ but Carla was leaving the room, so he looked to Rory for an explanation.   
For the first time Ben had seen, Rory didn’t seem to want to talk.   
“Why don’t we go outside for this?” He finally said.   
Ben didn’t care where they told him, so long as he found out what was going on. So he slipped out of the bed, shaking off the lingering stiffness in his muscles and followed them into the hall.   
Unlike the room he had slept in, which he now guessed must be a guest room, the house was a vibrant cluttered mess of decor. Everywhere he looked there was a disarray of objects of all kinds. It was impossible to find any common theme among them all. Porcelain figurines shared shelf space with abstract sculptures, snow globes, statues of south asian looking divinities, and far more candelabras than was necessary. The walls had more photographs and paintings and novelty clocks on them then they had wall. There were tye dye shirts hung up next to portraits of european generals on horseback and Andy Warhol prints surrounded by stuffed and mounted animal heads. It was like a bizarre museum with no organization crammed into just a few rooms. The mayhem of interior design continued all the way down the hall, down the stairs, and into a very large room with doors to the vast yard outside. Rory lead them outside, where Ben could get a look at the house’s size. He’d already gotten a feel that it was large inside, but now he could see that it was massive. A veritable mansion complete with decorated spires and carved gargoyles. Although he guessed the gargoyles weren’t part of the original architecture. They’d probably been added along with the pink flamingos in the yard and the messy tangle of weeds and flowers lining the walkway. This place was almost whimsical. It made him wish someone would tell him what was going on already.   
But Rory had been silent the whole time and was still silent as he found a bench next to a clan of ceramic gnomes. Knowing how eager to flap his lips the guy usually was, Ben grew more concerned. Whatever he was getting ready to say, it wouldn’t be light.   
It was Carlos who spoke first, “Rory, let’s just tell him. It’s not fair to keep him in the dark. He’s worried.”  
“I know, I know.” Rory said looking up at the sky, “I just want him to believe me. We gotta tell him in the right way…”   
“Tell me what?” Ben said, letting the impatience spill out.   
“About last night. What that thing was.”   
Ben’s blood turned to ice water. The eccentric mansion had taking his mind off memories of last night. He remembered how he’d been so helplessly held down by her, how her face had twisted and warped in front of him, and that strange needle she stuck him with. His hand gripped at his stomach, reminded of the wound.   
“What was it?” He asked, all his impatience replaced with cold anticipation.   
“You have to believe me, okay? It’s gonna sound crazy to you.”  
“I will. It wasn’t in my head. I know that. Whatever she was...was real.”  
“So if I tell you that it was a crazy dangerous shapeshifting monster from before recorded human history, you’ll believe me?”  
“Uh...Yeah.” he said, but it was weak. He wasn’t prepared for that answer.   
“Well that’s what it was, dead serious.”   
Ben had no doubt that he was serious. But believing something like that was such a leap of faith. He wanted to know more.  
“Ancient monster? Like metaphorically or…”   
“No. Like real.”   
“I don’t think I understand. Can you say more?”   
“I don’t know! Grace should be the one to tell you this. I don’t even have the mythology right.”   
He realized this wasn’t particularly easy for Rory to say. Part of him didn’t want to press and not stress his friend. But that part of him was outweighed by the rising concern in his own mind that was on the verge of panic.   
“Let’s start with something else. We can tell him about us first.” Carlos said. His voice was calm and steady, his presence composed. There was something similar to his mother about it.   
“What do you mean… ‘us?’”   
A brilliant yellow butterfly slipped between them to land on the blooming hydrangeas nearby as Carlos picked words in his head.  
“We, me and Rory, we’re different from you. And from most people, I guess. We umm, can feel things that other people can’t. We call ourselves empaths.”  
‘Empaths,’ it sounded like a word he’d read in some sci-fi novel before. He responded with a shaky ‘okay.’ and Carlos continued.   
“We can experience other people’s emotions and feelings and stuff. One of our elders calls it ‘being in communion with all surrounding life.’ Oh, and yeah, there are others too. Not just Rory and I. Lots of other empaths. All over the world. Are you...following me okay?”   
He talked slow and sounded very confident in what he was saying. Ben didn’t want to not believe, but he wasn’t sure he was ready to believe him either.   
“So, you’re saying...you guys have super powers, kinda?”  
“Hell no! You make it sound silly.” Rory said.   
“Well, sorry I guess. But, what does ‘communion with life’ even mean?”   
Carlos explained patiently, “It means, like… Okay. I feel other people’s worries when they’re near me. All their worries, concerns, anxieties… I can pick up on them. And not like, in a ‘I’m good at guessing’ kinda way. Like I have a literal connection into that part of the mind of anyone near me.”  
“And you can do that with anyone?”   
“Yup.”  
“So… You’re feeling my worries right now?”   
Carlos nodded.  
He couldn’t resist asking for proof. “What am I worried about?”  
“You’re worried that what I’m telling you is crazy talk, and believing it will make you crazy. You’re worried about Rory, because he’s worried for you and it shows. Most of all you’re worried about what happened last night, that wound on your belly, and what we’re going to tell you about that monster. You’ve had that on your mind since you woke up this morning. Your worry lessened when we walked through the house, probably because you were distracted, but its back now. And now your worried about the fact that I can see into your thoughts.”   
Ben was stunned. To a third party observer, it wouldn’t have looked like anything Carlos couldn’t have guessed. But it was all exactly what he was feeling. Every word seemed to reflect his exact concerns.   
“We keep ourselves secret from normal people like you,” Rory said, jumping in now that Carlos had broken the ice.   
“From non-empaths like you,” Carlos corrected,“our abilities are a precious secret held between our families and our communities.” It sounded like he was using someone else’s words.  
“This place is the meeting place for all the local empaths. We meet weekly. I never work on saturdays because I’m here.” Rory said.   
Ben had to sit down next to Rory. It was a lot to take in.   
“So…” He spoke slowly, picking each word carefully, “you guys are part of a secret community of superpowered people?”   
“Well, I wouldn’t call it a superpower, but yeah. Kinda.” Carlos said.   
It was hard to believe. He knew that they weren’t lying. After what happened last night and waking up in this place, there was no way he’d think they done all this to deceive him. In a way he’d already decided that he did believe them, but was still coming to terms with what that meant. As a kid he’d always wished to encounter something magical. It wasn’t a specific wish, anything would do. Just as long as he got to experience the same extraordinaryness he saw in the superhero comics he read or the disney movies he watched. Back then ordinary life had seemed so boring and meaningless, and in a way he still felt the same now. But when he was a kid, he would have openly accepted any fantastical new world in a heartbeat. Now he actually was being presented with one, and it was difficult to accept. It demanded a revision of his entire worldview. When he’d grown up, he decided that superheros and transforming mermaids weren’t real. And now, after years of sticking to that belief, it was being challenged.   
“I think I believe you. It’s just... It’s sounds like something made up, you know?”   
“Yeah, that’s fair.” Carlos said.   
“This is new for us too.” Rory said, “We don’t tell normal-, I mean non-empath people about ourselves very often. It’s kinda exciting. I’ve always wanted to tell somebody.  
“So why are you telling me?”   
Something in Rory and Carlos’s expression turned gloomy at his question.   
“What? What is it? Seriously, you have to tell me!”   
“It has to do with what happened last night.” Carlos said.   
Ben’s thoughts returned to the stomach turning experience he’d been through. There was so much he still didn’t know, and what he did know already was hard to totally accept. And he knew that whatever would be said about the ‘ancient monster’ that attacked him, wouldn’t make him feel any better. Dread bubbled up inside him like a cold slimy tide.   
“Tell me.”   
“There are people who can do it a lot better than us. They’ll be here soon for the weekly gathering.”   
“I know you’re worried about believing us, and about what we still have to tell you, but it’ll all be explained soon, and we’re here to help.”   
Ben had almost forgotten that Carlos had a one-way direct connection to his anxieties.   
“They’ll explain everything?” He asked.  
“Yes.” Carlos and Rory said together.  
“Then...alright.”   
The tension before was somewhat alleviated now, and Rory did his best to spark a more casual conversation as they returned into the mansion. But the situation still weighed heavy on their minds, and no one could invest much energy in talking. Ben was far too busy thinking through all the things he’d been told and anticipating what was soon to be revealed.


	6. Chapter 6

Ben sat in one of the many eccentrically decorated rooms of the mansion and reviewed what he knew. He knew that whatever had happened last night was not a human incident, and the women who’d attacked him was some kind of monster. The unpleasant morphing of her body he’d witnessed had been reality, not hallucination. He knew that whatever she was, it had some connection to this place and the clandestine group calling themselves the empaths. He knew Rory and Carlos, sitting adjacent to him on a sofa more like modern art than furniture, were a part of this group. They, like him, sat in silence with grave looks on their faces.   
“So, you guys won’t tell me anything else?” Ben asked again.  
Carlos shook his head.   
“We aren’t supposed to tell people outside the community about anything. We could get in serious trouble for what we’ve said already.”   
“Even after last night?”  
“Its also...kinda heavy stuff. If the stories are true, I wouldn’t know how to tell you.”  
Ben could feel his anxiety building. His hand automatically gripped at his naval again. He was tired of missing pieces to the puzzle. Knowing parts of the full picture was worse than being completely in the dark.   
“What stories?!”  
Carlos jumped in with his signature tone of reassurance, “I’m sure the rest of the chapter will fill you in on everything when they get here. Can you wait till then?”   
“I’d much rather hear whatever ‘heavy stuff’ from a friend than from strangers.” He protested, but it was clear that Rory and Carlos weren’t going to tell him much more about what happened last night.   
Ben was overcome with a feeling of dread. It was the kind he’d felt as a child in the doctor’s waiting room, afraid he was going to get a shot. An intense feeling that made him want to run away or hurry up and get it over with. He wanted anything but to sit silently in this unfamiliar place and worry over what was to come. It would be best if he could distract himself.  
“So, what about your special abilities you were talking about. Like how Carlos can read minds and stuff? Can you tell me about that?”   
Carlos and Rory seemed to comfortable enough with that topic at least.   
“Well, it’s not mind reading really. I can’t read all your thoughts. Just your worries and anxieties. Nothing else.”   
Ben didn’t quite fully understand it, but it was good know that Carlos couldn’t know everything going on inside his head. Although even if he could, Ben didn’t know how worried he’d be about it. Carlos had such an unthreatening aura about him. As if he’d never had a malevolent intention in his life. Even after just meeting him yesterday, in the midst of what was shaping up to be the craziest events of his life, he could tell that there was something deeply calming and comforting about the big guy. He’d make a good therapist or grade school teacher maybe.   
“Can you all do that?” Ben asked.  
“Yeah!” Said Rory, eager for some attention.   
Rory was not like Carlos at all. Ben had known Rory for a couple of years now and while he considered him a good friend, he didn’t want him anywhere near his inner thoughts.   
“But it’s different. All empaths have thing they can sense. Well, sometimes you have the same as your mom or dad, but usually, it's pretty unique! So Carlos can feel other people’s worries, but someone else might be able to feel ambitions or anger. ”   
Ben was starting to get the idea, “So...what can you do?”   
Rory’s big bright eyes sparkled and his lips spread into a huge grin. Even Carlos smirked.   
“You sure you wanna know?”   
“Of course I wanna know! Tell me!”   
“Oh man, this is fun. I never get to tell normal people this stuff.”   
“Non-empaths” Carlos corrected quietly.   
“Just tell me!”   
“Okay, I can sense…” Rory lowered his voice to almost a whisper, there was no one else in the room, but he’d always had a flair for the dramatic, “other people’s sexual desires.”   
Ben’s easily triggered rosy blush appeared, but he didn’t notice the heat rising in his cheeks. He was too concerned with the revelation that his friend apparently had a one way ticket into anyone’s most private thoughts.   
“Sexual desires?!”   
“Yup!” Rory said, beaming in absolute giddy joy over his friend’s reaction, “I can see all your deepest darkest desires, Ben.”   
“Stop it! No you can’t!”   
“Oh but I can! And right now, I can see all of the dirty things your thinking.”   
“I’m not thinking of anything dirty! Shut up!”   
“Oh goodness,” Rory said with a cartoonish gasp, “I didn’t know you felt that way about Carlos… Maybe I should leave you two alone for a little bit?”   
Ben was practically about to strangle Rory to make him shut up. He’d been thinking nice things about Carlos, sure, but none of it was anything more than just simple platonic appreciation of one man to another. It was impossible that he had any sexual feelings for Carlos, wasn’t it? But deep down he knew that he was no stranger to homoerotic feelings, repress them though he might. But for Carlos? Could it be true?  
Rory laughed his high pitched laughter shook his hands at Ben, “I’m kidding! I’m kidding! I can sense anything right now! Jeeze, you look upset. It’s okay, most of the time people don’t actively feel sexual desires. Especially yours. Its a rare occasion I pick up anything dirty going on inside your head.”   
Ben couldn’t even look at Carlos he was so embarrassed, “Shut up, Rory!” he snapped, “Don’t go in my private thoughts.”   
“I can’t help it! It’s not really something you can turn off. It’s like your sense of hearing. If someone near me has sexual desires, I just automatically pick up on them.”   
“But we can choose not focus on them.” Carlos added.   
“Okay, but don’t go around telling people my private feelings.”   
Rory looked little offended, “I would never actually do that! What kinda friend would I be? Trust me, your feelings are safe with me.”   
Carlos nodded in a greement and Ben, though still anxious about their abilities, felt a little relieved. At least he was with friends. Rory’s jokes did lighten the mood. They were able to keep up conversation almost like things were normal until Maria came to ask Carlos and Rory for help in the kitchen. Not wanting to be left behind, Ben followed into the dining room where new people were arriving.   
They all seemed completely normal. The Empaths slowly trickled in. They greeted each other, made small talk, and mingled comfortably in the house like it was a second home. Some of them were old and some families brough toddlers along. They came in all sorts of colors and shapes and styles. There was nothing visible connected them all, just the invisible status of empath. They were normal seeming people that never would have caught Ben’s attention anywhere else. But here in this strange place, when he knew that each and every one of them could peer into some particular part of his private thoughts, he couldn’t keep from suspiciously eyeing the bunch as they entered the dining room. He felt as if he had to guard himself. Learning about the empaths had thrust him into a level of vulnerability he’d never known before. He wished Rory or Carlos had stayed with him, but they had joined in with the crowd. Ben leaned against the doorway clutching his stomach and watched. Several of the empaths gave him curious glances or inviting smiles. They could tell he was new to this place.   
He was so intently focused on the empaths in the dining room that he didn’t notice as someone approached behind him. A bejeweled hand gripped his shoulder and he nearly jumped out of his skin in surprise. He turned to see a tall older woman beaming down at him. She was drenched in color, from the vibrant silk scarves she wore to her abundance of glittering jewelry. She had platinum blonde hair, brilliant blue eyeliner, and an enormous smile. She looked like she’d been dressed by ten different people all trying to exhibit a different style.  
“Oh my! Did I startle you? I’m so sorry, really. I just wanted to introduce myself. I was so worried when they brought you in last night,” She said.   
“You were there?” Ben worried how many others had been around to see his paralyzed unconscious body.   
“Oh, yes of course. This is my home after all! I’m Marcia, I believe Rory told me you were Benjamin?”   
“Yeah, that’s me. I just go by Ben usually though.”  
“Oh but Benjamin is such a pretty name. It has such an essence of gentleness.”   
“Uh, yeah, does it? Anyways, your home is very...decorated.” Ben said, trying to change topics. It made sense that this was her home. She matched its eclectic flashiness perfectly.   
“Thank you! Yes, It’s a bit crowded, but I really am proud of it. I’ve made it my sanctuary. For me and our empath community. I really think it really reflects our diversity, don’t you?”   
“Oh, I’m sure it does. I’m just new here so I really don’t know much about you all.”  
“Oh, well let’s fix that! Come, I’ll introduce you!”  
They’d just met and Marcia was talking to him like an old friend. Ben couldn’t keep up with her friendliness, not right now. He would’ve slipped away from the crowd back to the room he’d woken up in if he wasn’t desperate to find out more about the situation.  
“I think I’m actually fine staying here,” he said, halting Marcia’s attempt to sweep him into the nearest group of chatting empaths, “I’m just...feeling a little shy. Sorry.”   
Marcia’s looked him over top to bottom, as if searching for why he could possibly be so shy. Her smile seemed permanently affixed to her face, but her eyes conveyed her concern.   
“Oh, I see. Yes, it is quite a lot to take in, isn’t it? A brand new community, but I think you’ll find we really aren’t any different than your old community.”   
“Yeah, of course.” Ben nodded, hoping Marcia might move on from him now. He considered asking what she meant by ‘old community,’ and ‘new community’ too! He had no intention to become a member of this empath club. But Marcia spun away from him to go and greet another entering guest before he could spit the question out. “Try and make some friends, dear, we’re all friendly here!” she said as she left him, the long blue sequined train of her dress dragging behind her.   
Relieved to be free of the obligation to make conversation, Ben stayed in the doorway, watching the others mingle while Maria and Carlos set the long dining table with enough food to feed everyone and then some for leftovers. It smelled delicious and brought Ben’s mind to cooking, a comforting territory that made him a little more relaxed, if only for a passing moment. The trickle of new people into the home had stopped now and people began to take seats at the table. It looked to a total small group of 30 or so, made up of families, old couples, and people around Ben’s own again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This Chapter is unfinished. I hope to continue the story, but I'm not sure when. Let me know if you like this and would like to read more!


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